Just Watch The Clip

Excuse me while I crack the fuck up! Who in their right mind selects that type of background music to advertise a sparkling... DILDO! Yes my dear friends! That's what you just saw! A dildo inspired by the sparkling vampire I love to hate! Oh how I would LOVE to get my hands on the sales stats for that thing! This abomination (LOL!) is ONLY 6.75" long and has a diameter of 1.55". Hmmm... Thats kinda sad if you ask me! I wonder if this is a replica cause if that's the case, I'm embarrassed for homeboy! Hahahahahaaaa. And... Was that a man's hand holding that dildo? Hm?

Here's an excerpt of "The Vamp's" description according to the Seller:

"The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience. The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today."

Someone please get me a diaper before I pee on my pants! LOL!!!! I'd like to know who in their right mind would put a dildo inside the fridge, and not only that, but who in their right mind would want a popsicle inside their v-jay-jay?!? I mean, seriously! And I'm sorry, but would you really come outside in broad daylight with dildo in hand and twirl it around (like in the above clip) just to see it fucking sparkle? You know what? I don't even want to know the answer to that!

Either way, IF you're interested in getting this ridiculous thing, just Google "The Vamp" (I'm too lazy to do the whole HTML thing.