Oh C'mon!

Give me a break Mattell! I mean... I'm loving the fact that Jakebie is all ripped and shirtless and shit, but... Really???

When Is THIS Gonna Hit the Stores?!?!?

I fucking want it!

A Lil Sumthin Sumthin for Both Teams

So Team GayWard has been complaining that I've been doing all these horrible things to GayWard and nothing to Jakey. Well, last Friday I took them both to party with me. At one point in the night, I just got tired of these two bickering inside my purse so I decided to whip'em out and let them have at it!
Um... THIS is not exactly what I had in mind, but... Whatever works for them.

Looks like Ken is NOT the only one that likes long stiff ones!

LMFAO!!!

OH-MAH-GAWD!!!

Apparently I just can't leave these two alone!

Imagine my surprise (a happy one of course) when I arrived home from work to find these two... well... see for yourself!

Yeah! Steamy eh?

Guess they were in a hurry cause they didnt even bother to take off their clothes! LOL!

Jake! Bella! WATCH OUT FOR THAT CANDID CAMERA!!!

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THE BABIES!!!

Lets Have Fun With GAYWARD!

Yes my dear friends! I am now accepting requests!!!

Send me your ideas and If they are good and make me giggle (I have to like it of course, if it sucks, its a no-go!), I will make sure GAYWARD has a taste or your creativity! I will of course give credit where/when credit is due and will mention you and your blog (if you have one).

I've been having my own good ol fun with my new toys!

How about you join the party!

Ugly MOFOs!!!!

I was browsing around, because I'm at work on a fucking HOLIDAY, doing absolutely NOTHING and figured... WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?

So I go on ebay (where I get all my Twilight/New Moon stuff), and I tell myself "It's time for you to get one of those Jake dolls! Who cares you're 31 y/o!"...

Browsing, browsing...

Can someone tell me who the FUCK designed these things??? I mean... Come the FUCK on! Can they get uglier??? WAIT! Please don't answer that. Some things are just better to be left unknown! LOL.

Poor Jake here looks like a deformed gorilla! And here I thought they had actually nailed the "looks alike" on this doll when I saw the first pictures. Now that I've seen this abomination... I'm not so sure me wants it anymore....

Good heavens! It's the pedophile!!!!! No, really... It looks like a pedophile! Tho, technically, Eddie is a pedophile. What business does a 108 y/o man has to do with a 17 y/o anyways? LOL. C'mon people... Don't forget to laugh! After all... It's a MOVIE/BOOK CHARACTER!!!

Ok... Since when did Alice switch to the other team? Sorry but the "clothes" just don't do it! She looks like a butch and me no likey! (No disrespect to my gay friends!!! They know I support them and their lifestyles! "FREEEEEEEEEEE" country!!!)

Excuse me while I choke, cough, fall on my ass and pick myself back up! Who is THIS supposed to be? Where there any trannies in New Moon? Well, whoever this is... She (He?) is a mean looking motherfuckahhhhh!!!!!

Twilight Fishies!

I "bumped" onto this really cool site and found this awesome fish pond. Wouldn't it be great if we could actually snatch all them Twilight men and put them in a lil glass box for our own entertainment (whatever that may be)? I could think of a thing or two... or three... or four! lol

Naturally, the "russet" colored one is Jake, the "amber" colored one is Emmet, the blues are Jasper, Carlisle, and the unmentionable one, and the red ones are Paul, Sam, Jared, and Embry.

Feed Them! Just click on the pond! Have fun!

Ridiculous!

Just Watch The Clip

Excuse me while I crack the fuck up! Who in their right mind selects that type of background music to advertise a sparkling... DILDO! Yes my dear friends! That's what you just saw! A dildo inspired by the sparkling vampire I love to hate! Oh how I would LOVE to get my hands on the sales stats for that thing! This abomination (LOL!) is ONLY 6.75" long and has a diameter of 1.55". Hmmm... Thats kinda sad if you ask me! I wonder if this is a replica cause if that's the case, I'm embarrassed for homeboy! Hahahahahaaaa. And... Was that a man's hand holding that dildo? Hm?

Here's an excerpt of "The Vamp's" description according to the Seller:

"The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience. The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today."

Someone please get me a diaper before I pee on my pants! LOL!!!! I'd like to know who in their right mind would put a dildo inside the fridge, and not only that, but who in their right mind would want a popsicle inside their v-jay-jay?!? I mean, seriously! And I'm sorry, but would you really come outside in broad daylight with dildo in hand and twirl it around (like in the above clip) just to see it fucking sparkle? You know what? I don't even want to know the answer to that!

Either way, IF you're interested in getting this ridiculous thing, just Google "The Vamp" (I'm too lazy to do the whole HTML thing.

Dolly Up!

Wow... I'm soooo thinking of buying these! Can't wait for them to be available on E-bay!!!

Pretty clean...

I know its a doll and all but... would you look at those arms?!?!?

Eeeek!!! now THIS is an ugly doll!

I love love love Alice but... I'm not so happy about this product.